School Employees

With only two days left of school here in Texas... I thought this described how I've been feeling lately. Besides antsy.

An employee in an opposing district summed my feelings up perfectly with this. But opposing or not, he's spot on!

* You might be a school employee if you believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

* You might be a school employee if it is difficult to name your own child because there's no name you can come up with that doesn't raise your blood pressure when you hear it.

* You might be a school employee if you believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box on a report card.

* You might be a school employee if when out in public, you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

* You might be a school employee if you think people should have a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

* You might be a school employee if you wonder how some parents MANAGED to reproduce.

* You might be a school employee if you laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the 'lounge.'

* You might be a school employee if you encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling and are willing to donate the UHAUL boxes should they decide to move out of the district.

* You might be a school employee if you think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

* You might be a school employee if meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, 'Why is this kid like this?'

and my favorite:
* You might be a school employee if you would choose a mammogram over a parent conference.

And finally...
* You might be a school employee if you know how many days, minutes, and seconds are left in the school year.

I do. And the answer is:
2 days, 4 hours and 32 minutes.