More lightheartedness... is that a word?

Because prayers are continuing to ascend, I felt like it would be okay to spread some more lightheartedness. There's that word again. I must like it.

And since I may be going out of town again soon, I thought this little piece was especially appropriate.

BEST 'OUT OF OFFICE' AUTOMATIC EMAIL REPLIES

1) I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position.

2) You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3) Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4) I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5) Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6) The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again.

7) Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8) Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9) I've run away to join a different circus.

and my favorite:

10) I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.
.