An oldie but goodie

Having just taken a couple of flights a few days ago... and wanting to take my mind off of Nancy, I decided to post something different. And relevant to no one or nothing. In fact, I don't even know why I'm doing it. 'Cept I like it. So there.

Thought for the day: It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one!

And although the dialog below is most likely not real, it does make you wonder just what is required of an aircraft maintenance man.

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

Here is proof that those maintenance men do have a sense of humor. Pilot complaints are marked with a "P" and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers are marked with an "M".

Pilot: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Maintenance Man: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
M: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
M: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
M: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
M: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
M: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
M: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
M: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
M: Took hammer away from midget.

Karla, the last one's for you!